How will I remember my wedding speech…?

Whether you have to deliver a Father of the Bride Speech, Father of the Groom Speech, Groomsman Speech, Bridesmaid Speech, Bride Speech, Groom Speech and / or a Bestman Speech; you have a lot to say, with the speech content being different for all of the above speakers, but with one common theme i.e. the Bride & Groom.

For many speakers, the main concern is, ‘How will I remember my wedding speech?’, ‘How will I stay on track?’ and How will I make sure that I don’t forget anybody or anything?’. Speaking off the cuff is fine if you are able to do this and ‘wing it on the day of the wedding’, which some of us can, but most of us can’t. We the latter, need some form of speaking medium i.e. notes.  

There are five options to consider re; notes, namely;

  1. Pointer cards
  2. Full paper script
  3. Smartphone
  4. iPad
  5. Laptop

Pointer cards

Pointer cards are used to write down the main key points or keywords in your wedding speech. You will need to remember what each word/point means and be able to expand upon it, based on pre-speech practice and rehearsal. They are normally held in your hand, though can be left on the table too.

Full paper script

Here your full speech is written on paper in large font in front of you. The paper is normally left on the table and you basically have to read it out. There is no pressure in trying to remember any part of the speech, as it is all there in front of you. One must be careful, not to just read it out and lose the connection/rapport with their audience.

Smartphone

You can use your smartphone to have speech pointers on it or your full speech on it. The device is small and therefore could be difficult to manage and will have to be held in your hand. Might not look all that professional.  

iPad

You can use your iPad to have speech pointers or your full speech on it. The device is a nice size and can be held in your hand or left on the table.  

Laptop

Finally, the laptop is an option, though it can be and look big and awkward. It can have speech pointers or your full speech on it. The device will have to be left on the table.

What speaking medium suits you for your wedding speech, I know what I would choose…!

Start early…

When it comes to any major event, any and every Event Manager will tell you to ‘start early’. And there is no bigger event than arranging a wedding, probably the biggest event any couple will do in their lifetime, demanding a start time 2-3 years in advance in some cases. Breaking down the wedding in to its many components is the trick and then tackling each one in turn until complete is the key i.e. a developing a plan or worklist, where everybody and everything is included.

One of the key components to a wedding is the wedding speeches, that most times is last on the list or plan and sometimes doesn’t even make it on the list or plan. Why is this? For a lot of people, they feel that they will ‘wing’ the wedding speech on the day; they will write their wedding speech nearer the time or on the morning / day of the wedding or they don’t want to think about the wedding speech, because the thought of it upsets / worries them. The wedding speech is the one thing about the wedding that they are simply not looking forward to and hate doing it. But deep down they know it has to be done and they just keep putting the writing and delivery of the wedding speech on the long finger.

Don’t procrastinate and start early by;

• Purchasing a small notebook and pen (or using your smartphone note page)
• Immediately writing down people and things and what you want to say about them as they come to mind
• Opening up a Word document and transferring these into it by drafting the structure / content of the speech
• Doing something on the wedding speech everyday or every few days at least until complete
• Putting the main finishing touches to the wedding speech
• Practicing it
• Putting it away until a few weeks before the wedding and then fully completing it with a final practice rehearsal in the hotel venue

Start early…

How to make sure that you deliver a great speech at a wedding…?

Large weddings are still as popular as ever with upwards of 200-300 guests still being invited by the Bride & Groom, with every wedding hotel fighting for the business, and being transformed into paradises for the happy couple and their wedding guests.

There goes with the above the pressure on wedding speakers to write and deliver memorable, appropriate and good wedding speeches that are appropriate, impressive and are memorable to the Bride & Groom and their wedding guests.

To achieve the above three criteria, your speech should be broken down into three stages:

  1. Structure / Content
  2. Writing it
  3. Delivery

Structure / Content:

Find a quite place to sit down and write down everyone and everything that need to be included and mentioned in your speech, with a specific focus on the Bride & Groom. Decide how much you want to say about everyone and everything and in what detail, always conscious of the listener.

Writing it:

Now start putting your above speech draft onto a Word Document, knowing, realizing and accepting that every word you are going to say will be on paper in front of you i.e. that you will stick to the script. Have your words in large font, 1.5 or double-spaced, paragraphed accordingly and finishing sentences on each page.

Delivery:

Finally, it is down to practicing your oration of your speech. With the speech on the table, microphone in your hand; practice your speech as if you are speaking to 5000 people and from the heart. If possible, do a pre-rehearsal too in the actual wedding venue.

Don’t underestimate the time, effort and discipline demanded of you in writing a wedding speech (indeed any speech). Start early, enjoy the process, because it will be over before you know it…

Wedding Speeches

When should the great wedding speech be delivered…?

How weddings have changed over the decades! From a handful to 400-500 invited guests; one-two to six-eight bridal party members; a simple wedding car to expensive and large wedding cars; three course meals to six course meals; one to three live bands; simple attire to colorful and flamboyant dresses, suits and attire and off-the-cuff to well-prepared wedding speeches.

Speaking of the latter, wedding speeches are still an important part of a wedding and guests do look forward to hearing them, talking about them before, during and indeed after they’ve been delivered.

We have all heard of wedding speeches delivered before the meal, during the meal and after the meal, however it is of a strong opinion that the wedding speeches should be delivered after the meal. I know that for many bridal party speakers i.e. Father of the Bride Speech, Father of the Groom Speech, Bride Speech, Groom Speech and Bestman Speech (the five main speakers), they would prefer to have the wedding speeches before the meal, so they can enjoy their meal (some of them are paying for it!). However, it is all about the invited guests and how most of them (and indeed the wedding venue staff) would prefer the wedding speeches to be delivered after the meal for many reasons, some of which include:

  • The invited guests have been fed and watered and are not listening to wedding speeches on an empty stomach (at least of food, which would be the case before the meal, though weddings today do provide light snacks upon arrival at the wedding venue)
  • Food can be cooked and served at the agreed time (introduce the wedding speeches before the meal and their could be a delay of 15 minutes to 1.5 hours, driving the kitchen staff crazy trying to keep food freshly cooked, presentable and edible)
  • The wedding speeches act as the transition from the meal to the dancing (with nothing happening after the meal, people are expecting ‘a few words’ to be shared about the Bride & Groom after which they know they can get up, move around, take a break, go for a walk, go to the bar…)

It can be difficult for parents of the Bride & Groom to speak in public, as most of them would not be used of it. So, they could, if they so wished, speak before the / their meal.

There should still be some form of formal wedding speech(es) after the meal…

Do your audience like listening to your wedding speech?

There are very few weddings that do not have some time dedicated to people at the top table to speak about or on behalf of the Bride & Groom. Some do this before the meal, some do it during the meal (between the courses) and most do it after the meal (the correct time to do it really!). The audience might be hungry before the meal, dislike being interrupted while they eat and want time to digest the meal i.e. after the meal, which is the best time to speak to them. But whenever you and / or the Bridal Party decide to speak, will your audience like listening to you?

Well, you hope they will! I guess it all depends on your speech content and how you deliver it. Have you considered the following?

  • Having all of your speech on paper
  • Using the microphone correctly
  • Speaking about the Bride & Groom in equal measure
  • Covering all the 'Thank you’ s' only once
  • Standing up
  • Not speaking over applause
  • Not saying too much
  • Not saying too little
  • Avoiding inappropriate stories, jokes or anecdotes
  • Knowing what you must say according to your title on the day
  • Enjoying it…!

The above list is far from exhaustive, there are many more things that you can do and say that makes sure that the audience enjoy your speech and remember it for a long time for the right reasons.

If your job title on the day of a wedding warrants a speech or people are expecting you to speak, do put in the effort and start this effort weeks, indeed months before the wedding day. It will be worth it. Be the one that the audience love to listen to, be the one that they envy and be the one that makes the Bride & Groom delighted that you are part of their life past, present and / or future...