How will I remember my wedding speech…?

Whether you have to deliver a Father of the Bride Speech, Father of the Groom Speech, Groomsman Speech, Bridesmaid Speech, Bride Speech, Groom Speech and / or a Bestman Speech; you have a lot to say, with the speech content being different for all of the above speakers, but with one common theme i.e. the Bride & Groom.

For many speakers, the main concern is, ‘How will I remember my wedding speech?’, ‘How will I stay on track?’ and How will I make sure that I don’t forget anybody or anything?’. Speaking off the cuff is fine if you are able to do this and ‘wing it on the day of the wedding’, which some of us can, but most of us can’t. We the latter, need some form of speaking medium i.e. notes.  

There are five options to consider re; notes, namely;

  1. Pointer cards
  2. Full paper script
  3. Smartphone
  4. iPad
  5. Laptop

Pointer cards

Pointer cards are used to write down the main key points or keywords in your wedding speech. You will need to remember what each word/point means and be able to expand upon it, based on pre-speech practice and rehearsal. They are normally held in your hand, though can be left on the table too.

Full paper script

Here your full speech is written on paper in large font in front of you. The paper is normally left on the table and you basically have to read it out. There is no pressure in trying to remember any part of the speech, as it is all there in front of you. One must be careful, not to just read it out and lose the connection/rapport with their audience.

Smartphone

You can use your smartphone to have speech pointers on it or your full speech on it. The device is small and therefore could be difficult to manage and will have to be held in your hand. Might not look all that professional.  

iPad

You can use your iPad to have speech pointers or your full speech on it. The device is a nice size and can be held in your hand or left on the table.  

Laptop

Finally, the laptop is an option, though it can be and look big and awkward. It can have speech pointers or your full speech on it. The device will have to be left on the table.

What speaking medium suits you for your wedding speech, I know what I would choose…!

Start early…

When it comes to any major event, any and every Event Manager will tell you to ‘start early’. And there is no bigger event than arranging a wedding, probably the biggest event any couple will do in their lifetime, demanding a start time 2-3 years in advance in some cases. Breaking down the wedding in to its many components is the trick and then tackling each one in turn until complete is the key i.e. a developing a plan or worklist, where everybody and everything is included.

One of the key components to a wedding is the wedding speeches, that most times is last on the list or plan and sometimes doesn’t even make it on the list or plan. Why is this? For a lot of people, they feel that they will ‘wing’ the wedding speech on the day; they will write their wedding speech nearer the time or on the morning / day of the wedding or they don’t want to think about the wedding speech, because the thought of it upsets / worries them. The wedding speech is the one thing about the wedding that they are simply not looking forward to and hate doing it. But deep down they know it has to be done and they just keep putting the writing and delivery of the wedding speech on the long finger.

Don’t procrastinate and start early by;

• Purchasing a small notebook and pen (or using your smartphone note page)
• Immediately writing down people and things and what you want to say about them as they come to mind
• Opening up a Word document and transferring these into it by drafting the structure / content of the speech
• Doing something on the wedding speech everyday or every few days at least until complete
• Putting the main finishing touches to the wedding speech
• Practicing it
• Putting it away until a few weeks before the wedding and then fully completing it with a final practice rehearsal in the hotel venue

Start early…

Wedding Speeches

When should the great wedding speech be delivered…?

How weddings have changed over the decades! From a handful to 400-500 invited guests; one-two to six-eight bridal party members; a simple wedding car to expensive and large wedding cars; three course meals to six course meals; one to three live bands; simple attire to colorful and flamboyant dresses, suits and attire and off-the-cuff to well-prepared wedding speeches.

Speaking of the latter, wedding speeches are still an important part of a wedding and guests do look forward to hearing them, talking about them before, during and indeed after they’ve been delivered.

We have all heard of wedding speeches delivered before the meal, during the meal and after the meal, however it is of a strong opinion that the wedding speeches should be delivered after the meal. I know that for many bridal party speakers i.e. Father of the Bride Speech, Father of the Groom Speech, Bride Speech, Groom Speech and Bestman Speech (the five main speakers), they would prefer to have the wedding speeches before the meal, so they can enjoy their meal (some of them are paying for it!). However, it is all about the invited guests and how most of them (and indeed the wedding venue staff) would prefer the wedding speeches to be delivered after the meal for many reasons, some of which include:

  • The invited guests have been fed and watered and are not listening to wedding speeches on an empty stomach (at least of food, which would be the case before the meal, though weddings today do provide light snacks upon arrival at the wedding venue)
  • Food can be cooked and served at the agreed time (introduce the wedding speeches before the meal and their could be a delay of 15 minutes to 1.5 hours, driving the kitchen staff crazy trying to keep food freshly cooked, presentable and edible)
  • The wedding speeches act as the transition from the meal to the dancing (with nothing happening after the meal, people are expecting ‘a few words’ to be shared about the Bride & Groom after which they know they can get up, move around, take a break, go for a walk, go to the bar…)

It can be difficult for parents of the Bride & Groom to speak in public, as most of them would not be used of it. So, they could, if they so wished, speak before the / their meal.

There should still be some form of formal wedding speech(es) after the meal…

Should I Use My Native Language in My Wedding Speech??

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Most Irish wedding speeches are delivered in the English language as most of the audience expect it to be and most of them anyway will probably speak or understand it.
For people who are fluent Irish speakers, it would be suggested that you do deliver part of your speech in Irish. This can be done at the start of the speech, at the end of the speech or throughout the speech. It is important that what you say is said in English too either word for word or in a different way, as your guests can feel left out if they do not understand what you are saying / have said.

For people not born in Ireland and who are getting married in Ireland where English is not their first language, it is expected that most of the speech could be delivered in their native tongue, though not all of it. One would have to make an attempt at delivering part of the speech or saying a few words in the English language.

If you are wondering what to say in the Irish language or in your native tongue, consider wedding blessings, wedding poems and opening and closing your speech in Irish.

Your wedding guests always appreciate people speaking in their native tongue, once they know what they are saying or that it is translated for them.

Finally, if some of your main wedding party and guests are from a particular part of the world, welcoming them in their native language or saying a few words during your speech would make them feel really at home.

Whatever language(s) you use during your wedding speech, cover everything that your specific speech is supposed to cover, prepare well, practice, look forward to it and don’t forget to smile!

After you have delivered your speech…

After you have delivered your speech, what do you do, how do you celebrate, what do you think about? Your journey to this stage of 'when it is all over' and your feeling of 'a sense of relief' maybe, 'elation' and maybe some 'self-analysis'. You are also probably saying, 'What was that all about, what was I so stressed and worried about, I want to do it again.!' Every speaker in what ever their speaking platform thinks some or all of these thoughts. So, what should you do after you have delivered an important speech on a big stage to people who know you so well? Read more