Writing and delivering an unforgettable Wedding Speech (for all the right reasons)…

Whether you are a Bride, Groom, Bestman, Father of the Bride, Father of the Groom, the time has / will come where you are faced with writing and delivering a wedding speech that will probably be the most important speech you will deliver in your lifetime before family, relations and friends. You may have done it before, you may not have done it before or this may be your first and only time or you may have more to do in the future. Whatever your situation, treat this wedding speech has the first and last one as people are looking forward to what you are going to say.

To make your speech memorable for all the right reasons, time, persistence and dedication to the cause are three prime ingredients in the writing of the speech.

Time

Start thinking about and writing your speech weeks, even months before the actual wedding. Writing this speech, indeed any speech takes time.

Persistence

Set time aside to write some of it every day and keep at it until you have the first draft completed. Don’t lay up on it until you have achieved this.

Dedication

Enjoy writing it. You are writing about someone or people you love in your life and who are very important you. Give them justice in your speech.

To make your speech unforgettable for all the right reasons; pace, pausing and voice projection are the three prime ingredients in the delivery of your speech.

Pace

You must deliver your speech at the right pace, saying every letter in every word, so as not to speak fast (the main challenge in public speaking).

Pausing

Pause after every comma, full-stop and at the end of every paragraph to allow the audience react to what you have said and allow you to take a breadth.

Voice projection

You need to speak differently to how you would normally speak to people on a one to one. Use inflection techniques by hitting words hard, hitting words soft.

Start early…

When it comes to any major event, any and every Event Manager will tell you to ‘start early’. And there is no bigger event than arranging a wedding, probably the biggest event any couple will do in their lifetime, demanding a start time 2-3 years in advance in some cases. Breaking down the wedding in to its many components is the trick and then tackling each one in turn until complete is the key i.e. a developing a plan or worklist, where everybody and everything is included.

One of the key components to a wedding is the wedding speeches, that most times is last on the list or plan and sometimes doesn’t even make it on the list or plan. Why is this? For a lot of people, they feel that they will ‘wing’ the wedding speech on the day; they will write their wedding speech nearer the time or on the morning / day of the wedding or they don’t want to think about the wedding speech, because the thought of it upsets / worries them. The wedding speech is the one thing about the wedding that they are simply not looking forward to and hate doing it. But deep down they know it has to be done and they just keep putting the writing and delivery of the wedding speech on the long finger.

Don’t procrastinate and start early by;

• Purchasing a small notebook and pen (or using your smartphone note page)
• Immediately writing down people and things and what you want to say about them as they come to mind
• Opening up a Word document and transferring these into it by drafting the structure / content of the speech
• Doing something on the wedding speech everyday or every few days at least until complete
• Putting the main finishing touches to the wedding speech
• Practicing it
• Putting it away until a few weeks before the wedding and then fully completing it with a final practice rehearsal in the hotel venue

Start early…

How to make sure that you deliver a great speech at a wedding…?

Large weddings are still as popular as ever with upwards of 200-300 guests still being invited by the Bride & Groom, with every wedding hotel fighting for the business, and being transformed into paradises for the happy couple and their wedding guests.

There goes with the above the pressure on wedding speakers to write and deliver memorable, appropriate and good wedding speeches that are appropriate, impressive and are memorable to the Bride & Groom and their wedding guests.

To achieve the above three criteria, your speech should be broken down into three stages:

  1. Structure / Content
  2. Writing it
  3. Delivery

Structure / Content:

Find a quite place to sit down and write down everyone and everything that need to be included and mentioned in your speech, with a specific focus on the Bride & Groom. Decide how much you want to say about everyone and everything and in what detail, always conscious of the listener.

Writing it:

Now start putting your above speech draft onto a Word Document, knowing, realizing and accepting that every word you are going to say will be on paper in front of you i.e. that you will stick to the script. Have your words in large font, 1.5 or double-spaced, paragraphed accordingly and finishing sentences on each page.

Delivery:

Finally, it is down to practicing your oration of your speech. With the speech on the table, microphone in your hand; practice your speech as if you are speaking to 5000 people and from the heart. If possible, do a pre-rehearsal too in the actual wedding venue.

Don’t underestimate the time, effort and discipline demanded of you in writing a wedding speech (indeed any speech). Start early, enjoy the process, because it will be over before you know it…

Wedding Speeches

When should the great wedding speech be delivered…?

How weddings have changed over the decades! From a handful to 400-500 invited guests; one-two to six-eight bridal party members; a simple wedding car to expensive and large wedding cars; three course meals to six course meals; one to three live bands; simple attire to colorful and flamboyant dresses, suits and attire and off-the-cuff to well-prepared wedding speeches.

Speaking of the latter, wedding speeches are still an important part of a wedding and guests do look forward to hearing them, talking about them before, during and indeed after they’ve been delivered.

We have all heard of wedding speeches delivered before the meal, during the meal and after the meal, however it is of a strong opinion that the wedding speeches should be delivered after the meal. I know that for many bridal party speakers i.e. Father of the Bride Speech, Father of the Groom Speech, Bride Speech, Groom Speech and Bestman Speech (the five main speakers), they would prefer to have the wedding speeches before the meal, so they can enjoy their meal (some of them are paying for it!). However, it is all about the invited guests and how most of them (and indeed the wedding venue staff) would prefer the wedding speeches to be delivered after the meal for many reasons, some of which include:

  • The invited guests have been fed and watered and are not listening to wedding speeches on an empty stomach (at least of food, which would be the case before the meal, though weddings today do provide light snacks upon arrival at the wedding venue)
  • Food can be cooked and served at the agreed time (introduce the wedding speeches before the meal and their could be a delay of 15 minutes to 1.5 hours, driving the kitchen staff crazy trying to keep food freshly cooked, presentable and edible)
  • The wedding speeches act as the transition from the meal to the dancing (with nothing happening after the meal, people are expecting ‘a few words’ to be shared about the Bride & Groom after which they know they can get up, move around, take a break, go for a walk, go to the bar…)

It can be difficult for parents of the Bride & Groom to speak in public, as most of them would not be used of it. So, they could, if they so wished, speak before the / their meal.

There should still be some form of formal wedding speech(es) after the meal…

Being a Bestman for a Famous Person…

Not many of us will get the opportunity to be Bestman in our lifetime and not many of us will get the opportunity to be Bestman for a famous person. Talking about the latter, how does a Bestman prepare his Bestman duties and what does he say in his speech for a person who is a public figure, who is in the public eye or has achieved success in their area of interest, expertise or skill in their career, profession or life? To be a Bestman for anyone isn’t an easy task, but to be Bestman for someone who is famous is a different proposition, or is it?

Do carry out your normal duties normally i.e.:

  • Welcome everyone through a mini-opening speech
  • Call in the Bride & Groom
  • Carry out the pre-meal duties
  • Carry out the cake cutting ceremony
  • Act as Master of Ceremonies (MC)
  • Deliver your speech when your time comes (see below)
  • Carry out the post-meal duties

You will obviously be thinking about and preparing your speech long before the wedding and trying to put what is in your mind and heart on paper. Whether it is a family member, relation or friend, the same general layout, narrative and structure prevails with the following considerations:

  • Treat the Bride & Groom like ordinary, yet special people like any couple on their wedding day
  • Demonstrate your delight and honour to be their Bestman
  • Talk about both of them in equal measure (if possible)
  • Which ever one of them is famous;
    • Remind the audience why they are famous
    • Share their achievements
    • Talk about their traits, qualities, skills that has brought them to the pinnacle of their famous-tivity
    • Develop stories around their journey to success-hood with punch-lines towards the end
    • Mention recent and / or current activities that are in the media
    • Consider introducing appropriate props as part of your speech that can add humour
    • Don’t overdo the plaudits on them, we don’t want to embarrass them or turn the audience off your speech

Give your Bestman duty the respect, time and effort it needs and be the ultimate Bestman…