The Bestman sets the tone for a wedding. All eyes are on the Bestman from the Church ceremony to the end of the speeches. Of course the Bride and Groom get all the attention from everyone there, but the Bestman is the person who keeps the show on the road, keeps everyone on toe and makes sure that the day goes according to plan. His job is much more than delivering his speech, which a lot of Bestmen forget. So how can a Bestman set the tone for the wedding, so that everyone has a great time, especially the Bride & Groom and of course the guests? I agree that the Bestman does not have much say in the wedding venue choice or choice of food or choice of band, but he does have a choice and a big one at that, that when he speaks for the first time, he has the ability to set a wedding tone that the Bride and Groom and guests either love, like or feel uncomfortable with; the former being the most preferable. The guests have invested their time and money to be at the wedding with their family, relations and friends and are there to have a wonderful, memorable time. The Bestman must do all they can to make sure they deliver on this. Do these:

  • Prepare everything you are going to say beforehand
  • Smile
  • Add the music
  • Network
  • Enjoy yourself

Prepare everything you are going to say beforehand The Bride and Groom and the audience expect to see notes in front of you. They expect to see someone who is organised and has a plan. Everything you are to speak on, speak about needs to be on paper. And stick to the plan. Smile We under estimate the power of the smile. Yes, we all realize how hard it is to smile when we are under pressure, especially carrying out the duty of a Bestman. When you smile, everyone else feels happy, relaxed and more accepting of you. Add the music Try to speak to your guests as soon as you can. The best time is to call in the Bride & Groom in to the wedding reception room (a job normally done by the Hotel Wedding Coordinator / Manager). As you do this, you are for the first time setting the tone for the wedding, which needs to be upbeat, positive and exciting. Add the music to your voice, so as to let the audience not remember what you said, but remember how you made them feel. Network As in business, you need to speak to everyone you know and everyone you don’t know. Get to know everyone that the Bride and Groom have invited to their wedding. Listen more than you speak, take on their advise, appreciate it and then forget about it. (you are well prepared and know how to handle the duty of Bestman, nerves and all – You are a Professional!). Enjoy yourself It can be hard to do this, but do try to have a great time. You have prepared well, you have practiced well. Anything that happens that has not been planned for (and it will!) will be taking care by you…you can do it, you know you can and you will…