After the Bride and Groom, all eyes are on the Bestman. This person is seen as the Master of Ceremonies (MC) for the day, who the Bride and Groom put a lot of trust in to make sure that the day goes smoothly. In fact the Bride\’s and Groom\’s parents put a lot of trust in them too hoping he is competent and able to do the job without embarrassing anybody through what they do or say. Of all the duties on a wedding day, the Bestman duty is arguably the hardest, most stressful and most demanding. It demands careful planning in consultation with the Bride and Groom and indeed all of the wedding party. There job starts long before the wedding day and officially ends when the music ends. The most challenging duty for any Bestman is the writing and delivery of their main speech, actually preparing everything they have to say as they are MC for the day. Everybody (even the most experienced of speakers) prepare and practice before every speaking occasion and the Bestman is no different. So what does he need to consider and do as he prepares to write and deliver his speech(es) (both originally and authentically)? Below are some thoughts to consider (some you will do and some you will not).
- Address dignitaries i.e. , Priests, ladies and gentlemen and any special guests (they should know people at the top table and in audience that require special mention)
- Introduce yourself (name and relationship to Bride & Groom)
- Ask people to turn off or turn down mobile telephones
- Are there any speeches before the meal that need to be delivered
- Grace before meals
- Cake cutting ceremony
- Cards, faxes, e-mails, special messages (collect from reception), only read out from people who are not in attendance
- The order of speeches is, but is open to change:
- Priest 1
- Father of the Bride
- Father of the Groom
- Groomsman / men (optional)
- Bridesmaid / maids (optional)
- Bride
- Groom
- Bestman
- Priest 2
(Ask every Wedding Hotel Manager / Co-ordinator and they will tell you that the only people that should speak at a wedding is the Father of the Bride and the Groom!)
- Gifts to parents / grandparents
- Thank you’s (shared between top table – can be discussed between the Bestman, Bride and Groom) some necessary/some optional (preferably people who are in the audience) including:
- Hotel, Manager, Wedding Co-ordinator, Chef and staff (mention main contact in hotel by name)
- Parents / Guardians
- Cake maker
- Priests in church
- Servers
- Sacristan
- Church singer
- Photographer
- Videographer
- Dressmakers
- Invitation card makers
- Page boy/flower girl and their parents
- Wedding cars, suit hire etc.
- Any other people involved
Bestman\’s Speech
- Address dignitaries i.e. , Rev. Fathers, ladies and gentlemen and any special guests
- Welcome in Bride and Groom into the function room to respective families
- Say how delighted you are to be the Bestman
- Compliment Bride and Groom on how well they look
- How do you know Bride & Groom
- Talk about positive personality traits, skills, talents, what you like and what others like about them
- Talk about them in equal measure (many Bestmen don\’t)
- Gather information about them (in confidence) through their parents, family, friends, relations including bridesmaids/ groomsmen
- Develop true stories (slightly exaggerate) about them, but do not embarrass them or the audience
- Talk about both parents
- Toast the Bride and Groom
- Consider closing the speech (without Bride/groom knowing) and after priest has said grace after meals by saying;
- \’\’Finally, before I finish, I have one wish and one request. My wish is that on behalf of the Bride and Groom that you all have a wonderful evening and night ahead. My request is that you all be here to join us for the Bride and Groom\’s first dance as the newly married couple\’\’
Note: Confirm that all the other speakers have said all the ‘Thank You’s’ / Toasts that they are supposed to say / do and try not to repeat Other miscellaneous duties ‘considered-to-be’ Bestman duties / responsibilities:
- Rings
- Ribbons on cars
- Priest’s, sacristan, servers payment
- Church singer and band payment
- Collect all e-mails, cards, messages, presents, gifts from Hotel Reception and people throughout day and store safely…consider having key to Bride and Groom’s hotel bedroom
- Bonfires (or any traditional celebratory events to mark the occasion)
- Give band list of singers/musician’s to call on to do their party piece
- Have your hotel contact beside you at all times or close by
- Finally and most importantly your main duty is to take care of the happy couple, always checking are they OK for everything throughout the whole day.
It is a privilege to be asked to be Bestman at a wedding. Plan, Prepare and Practice and be the Bestman ever…show them how it is done…!