We all envy the speaker who can stand up and deliver a speech ‘off the cuff’! How do they / can they do it? I wish I could do that! Yes, we all do, but chances are that they have been preparing the speech for some time beforehand and know what they wanted to say, how to say it and then deliver it. Behind closed doors they were probably practicing focusing on pulling off a great performance without notes leading up to the speech delivery.

Speakers who have no notes are rare enough though. If no notes can be seen or speaking props visible, then they know there subject really well, have delivered it before and / or they are very familiar to the audience. These are exceptional people and speakers and have to be admired.

But for us people who have to speak in public very occasionally, we need to have notes or some way of remembering what we want to say and when to say it. Our audience, especially at a social occasion like a wedding, expect to see and feel more comfortable when the speaker(s) have notes in front of them. They know that they have prepared beforehand, have a script to work from and that they won’t ramble or deviate from the speech.

If you are someone who has to speak in front of family, relations and / or friends, put everything you want to say on paper, give it structure and put onto a Word Document. Decide whether you want to have everything you want to say on paper or to put your speech onto pointer notes / cards. Practice and rehearse it numerous times. Bring it with you, let the audience see it and then use it as your speaking medium to help you deliver a great speech

Whether you are a Father of the Bride, Father of the Groom and / or Bestman making that all important speech in front of family, relations and friends is a once-off occasion and daunting for a lot of people. Your audience more than likely know you pretty well, and want to hear you deliver a good speech, maybe even a great speech. Whether you deliver it before or after the meal is irrelevant (though the latter would be more preferable and indeed recommended as your audience have had their meal and are more ready to enjoy and more importantly appreciate your few words).

For the audience to enjoy and appreciate your speech, it is always a good idea to share stories about the Bride and Groom, without embarrassing them too much of course.

These stories are best researched, developed and structured days, even weeks before delivering your speech and are always better to be true stories or at least based on a true story. When they are true, they are easier remembered, easier told and the audience enjoy them more. The audience will know whether they are true or not by the way you tell them. You’re taking them on a journey, they are there and part of it with all the detail included.

It is better to tell it your way, not to copy or mimic other great story tellers that you know or would love to emulate. The audience wants to hear the real you stand up and speak to them in a polished, professional way, yet your own way. Finally, it is good too to finish the story with some form of punchline or one liner that reveals the moral of the story and advice for the Bride and / or Groom as they start their married life together.

Start thinking about good, appropriate, true stories that you mix in with your speech (two to three will suffice divided evenly between the Bride & Groom if possible). You’ll look forward to and enjoy your speech more and so too will your audience…

cheers

When should we give the speeches at our wedding, before, during or after the meal? Let’s investigate the best option!

Before the meal

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Advantages:

  • All speakers can enjoy the meal
  • The speeches will be over and done with
  • They maybe shorter than normal
  • The Bestman will be have their speech out of the way
  • The Bride and the Mother of the Bride worries will be over

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Disadvantages:

  • The management of the hotel may have to pay staff, waitresses and waiters more money
  • The Chef and his kitchen staff will be under pressure to manage the food quality as they will not know the duration of the speeches
  • Wedding guests will be hungry and may not give the speeches the attention they deserve with empty stomachs
  • What will the guests do to allow their meal digest?
  • What ‘transitions’ from the meal to the post-reception celebrations?

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During the meal

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Advantages:

  • Can deliver one to two speeches between each meal course
  • Wedding guests will give more attention to the speeches as they will have been served food
  • Will add variety to the meal
  • As waitresses and waiters clear the table and guests are waiting for their next course to be served, a speech or two could be delivered
  • Some speakers will have their speech completed and can enjoy the rest of their meal

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Disadvantages:

  • The management of the hotel may have to pay staff, waitresses and waiters more money
  • The Chef and his kitchen staff will be under pressure to manage the food quality as they will not know the duration of each speech between meal courses
  • Will make for a longer meal duration
  • Speakers may not enjoy the complete meal as they wait to be called to speak
  • Guests may not be able to hear the speeches clearly as waitresses and waiters clear tables after each course and serve the next course

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After the meal

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Advantages:

  • It is the norm that any speeches that need to be delivered are delivered after a meal at any celebratory event
  • Wedding guests will be fully attentive to the speeches as they will have had their full meal
  • The hotel can better management their staff as when the meal has been completely served, most of the waitresses waiters can finish
  • The Chef and their staff can better manage the food as they will have a more accurate time when to serve the food and can plan accordingly
  • Better quality could possibly be delivered

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Disadvantages:

  • Speakers may not have enjoyed the meal as much as they should have in the knowledge that they have yet to deliver their speech
  • Nerves for the speakers have more time to develop
  • Wedding guests may want to leave immediately after the meal, but can’t as the speeches are an important part of the wedding occasion
  • Too many speeches at the one time if they are long speeches could become difficult to listen to
  • Wedding may be anxious to get to the bar…!

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Best option, probably After!

Whenever you decide to deliver your wedding speeches, prepare and deliver them well…it is a once-off, it will never happen again.

Speaking in public for many people is easy. It comes naturally to them. They have no problem in getting up and standing up in front of people and delivering a speech. It does not effect them in any way. For the rest of us, it can be a daunting challenge; to write a speech and then to deliver it in public. It is something we probably don’t do all of the time, we may not like doing it, but feel we want to or have to, especially if is part of our job / career or we have to do it for a family / social occasion. We do not wish to say no to the opportunity and we want to write and deliver the best speech we can. How do you ensure that this will happen? Read more